Identifier

MSS.2.59

Publication Date

7-9-1919

Document Type

Letter

Transcription

30 Seymour
9 July 1919.

Dearest Dada:

It is raining, and for the past month it
has been doing nothing but rain! The weather
alone is enough to make one think of Freshman
year! Since I received your last letter telling
me of the summer incident, I have been
thinking an awful lot on the subject, more
than I have ever thought of in the
years past. I wish I knew how to go about
telling you what I feel - words do seem in-
adequate, especially since the distance between
us makes it impossible to add qualifications
to every statement - Compreny?

I think, though, you may just
consider that incident as a beastly unpleas-
ant one, but which does not have any sig-
nificance except that it has awakened in
you the knowledge of brutal passion as dis-
tinguished from the Academic view of passion
which we in our college days knew absolute-
ly nothing about. I fancy most of us fancied [page break]
sexual desires as something apart from
ourselves, a subject on which we could and
did make downright statements and upon
which in a theoretic and speculative way
had pondered. But except from that angle, we
had not seen it nor seen it manifested
in life. And I think the shock was a bit
too sudden and startling for you. In a
way, I feel that my experience with moths
is in an infinitesimal way something akin
to the shock you received - Shanghai is very
damp, & every year in May, June, & July,
we have what is called the "Yellow Plum"
season, - meaning that it rains every day,
& during the rain the sun still sends its
bright gleaming rays downward. Mother
had warned me of the necessity of putting
away my furs & winter clothes before this
season should set in, as the moths would
get at them. I laughed, for I felt that
while moths might get at Mother's things,
they could not and would not touch mine.
How shocked, actually grieved and surprised [page break]
I was when one day last summer, I
found a lot of gray-brown fuzzy worms
on all my clothes in the closet! I do
not know why I should have imagined,
thought or presumed that Providence
should provide a special dispensation for me
of all people in the world. Anyway, that I
was not an exception to moth habits
certainly dazed me. I shall never forget
my horror and the feeling that I was forsaken
& betrayed by higher powers!

I think the best way for you to
become normal in your attitude towards
men would be to ignore the question of
sex entirely: Of course, that is difficult,
for almost without exception when a man
becomes interested in a girl, he becomes sen-
timental. And do not shrink from threshing
out the question with yourself. Love is
partly sexual in its composition: and there
is nothing disquieting about it if you con- [page break]
sider it in conjunction with the other ele-
ments which make up love in the real
sense. For instance physical love is like
certain parts of Bach's or Beethoven's works
which if considered by themselves are dis-
cords but which if combined with the
parts the authors meant to have them con-
sidered, they become harmonious and
beautiful. In all probability, the man
who looked at you so disgustingly was
only attracted to you by your physical
attractions, and a man who is that
sort is certainly a beast, a brute and
an animal. I do not wonder that
you resented it! But, Dada, not all
men are like that. There are some, mighty
few, I admit, who are frankly beast,
and to them love means the satisfaction
of appetite: but there are other men with
whom, the physical love, is only an elemnt
in real love. And I think too that [page break]
the best thing for you to do would be not to view
love from the sexual side; but just be normal, and
when you really fall in love with a man worthy
of you, everything will come clearly and naturally
to your mind. This sounds like spurious advice,
I admit: but it is really quite sane, and in
time, you will admit it.

Do not begin to think that you are
disgusted with love, for you aren't. You are only
disugsted with a certain element it, an attitude
quite natural to all pre-minded girls, who
are what you are. But for example, I like
camping out, while every time I camp, I
despise the beastly mosquitoes: yet the mos-
quitoes are so small an evil when compared
with the pleasure I derive from camping that I
do not take them at all into account when
I express enthusiasm for camping.

All this is inadequate, I know;
but I am such a duffer at expressing my
thoughts.

Love,
Daughter


Am enclosing a five dollar check,
for which please subscribe two years
St. Nicholas Magazine for

Master Tse An Soong
30 Seymour Road
Shanghai
China

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