Identifier

MSS.2.27

Publication Date

4-25-1918

Document Type

Letter

Transcription

Dearest Dada:

Your 32nd just came. Oh, well, for
one thing Father is in the Hospital. He was
so ill that we thought he was going to
die: but now he seems much better. We
were worn out trying to nurse him, and
finally decided that the hospital is the
only place for him, for due to his dis-
ease, he gets more irritable every day.
Someone of us is with him all day long,
Mother is there now, and I am watching
the servants in house-cleaning. My dear,
we have the most beautiful carved
Blackwood furniture: but - heavens,
it is almost impossible to keep them
clean. I am having an awful
time making the servants dust them,
because the carvings are so bothersome.
Every picture is being taken down, and
everything washed, wiped, and put in
some kind of aid to bring out the
luster of the varnish. The carpets are [page break]
all taken up, and will be sent to the cleaners.
As I know nothing about how to go at
house-cleaning, I am more or less at
the mercy of the servants as Mother is
away.

I am sorry, Dada, that my letters have
been unhappy. To tell you the truth,
money will never make me happy. I
lie awake nights thinking that I am
getting no-where. Do you understand
what I mean? At college, there was
always the work, but here at home,
I am busy all day yet I don't seem
to get anywhere. My little brother goes
to school now, and that ought to
give me more time: but somehow I
am just as busy as ever. Since
Father has been so ill, I have given up
practicing on the piano. I was working
on Grieg and the Opera of William
Tell. Dada mine, you always under-
estimated your own ability. Before [page break]
you know it, you will be a regular
"talent."

Well, HK had an awful fuss with
his father over some personal matter.
I am so glad I broke with him before
the quarrel, otherwise of course his
father would blame it on me.

I do hope your poems will be accept-
ed! I'll try to write something for
publication: only at present I am very
much confused! I might as well tell
you that if I ever marry, it will
not be for love, for I have had the
misfortune to care about a man who
is already married. For the past few
months, we both have been too
miserable for words, for his wife was
forced on him by his parents soon
after he returned from America some
years ago. And you know how my
family feels towards divorce, and besides [page break]
there is nothing the matter with his wife
except that he does not care for her.
It has been pretty rigid discipline for
us both, for of course neither one of us
would do what is not honorable - Only
we both care more than words can
tell,- and oh, it is terrible to
care so much. I never knew before
what it means. And the worst is
that I never woke up until too late,
and as for him, he said that he
would go through hell to be free. But
everything is hopeless. I am trying
to make him leave Shanghai for
several months, for I certainly
cannot leave Father. You need
not worry about me, for I shall do
the right thing, never fear. And
yet I cannot bring myself to
marry anyone else. With love

Daughter

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